It’s Saturday morning. Let’s stop for a cup of coffee and chat about our week, maybe share a piece of chocolate cake. That sounds like a great way to start the day. Wait, there’s a coffee shop over there that says, “Come in, have a cup of coffee and a piece of cake and talk about death and dying.” What?
Epicurus, a Greek philosopher, talked about the human omnipotent fear of death.
Philosopher Martin Heidegger wrote: “If I take death into my life, acknowledge it, and face it squarely, I will free myself from the anxiety of death … and only then will I be free to become myself.”
In 2017 in his book “The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully,” Frank Ostaseski wrote, “As we come in contact with life’s precarious nature, we also come to appreciate its preciousness.”
Jon Underwood pioneered the Death Café in Great Britain in 2011, bringing people together in a circle to talk about death and dying in a neutral setting. A Death Café can be housed in an actual café, a coffee shop, a library, a room in an organization’s building or other public place. Lizzie Miles of Ohio imported the Death Café to the United States a couple years later. Since then, the Death Café concept has spread across the globe with more than 70,000 meetings since its inception.
The Death Café is a group led discussion with no agenda, themes, or guest speakers with the view of helping people make the most of their finite lives. In discussing death and dying, the objectives are comfort, awareness and tolerance. A Death Café is not a grief support group or counseling session, nor a place to promote a business or lead people to any conclusion or course of action.
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It is a place to share your ideas, thoughts and concerns about death and dying in a confidential, safe and supportive environment. Refreshments are routinely provided and there is never a charge for attending.
Since the COVID-19 pandemic, Death Cafés have moved to a virtual environment such as Zoom so that people can join from the comfort and safety of their home. In this format you get to provide your own refreshments.
In general, a virtual Death Café lasts one and one and a half hours, while an in-person one lasts two hours. The host usually starts by introducing themselves, establishing standards and expectations, and sometimes leading a meditation. The attendees introduce themselves, followed by open discussion.
The Coachella Valley offers two ongoing virtual Death Cafés, one hosted by Desert End of Life Doulas (every third Thursday at 4 p.m.) and one by PALS (every first Thursday at 2 p.m.). You can access the Doula’s café at https://ift.tt/2FS728E and the PALS café at palsinthedesert@gmail.com.
Reservations are required since there are a limited number of seats at each café.
The hosts look forward to meeting you at one of the cafés. Your life and the lives of others will be enhanced by your attendance.
Glendon Muir Geikie is an End of Life Doula. Visit his website at endoflifedoulaps.com or contact him at glendon@endoflifedoulaps.com or (760) 537-7588.
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September 21, 2020 at 06:55AM
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A Death Café is a place to share ideas, thoughts concerns about death and dying - Desert Sun
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